Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Reader

The Joker?  Ha!  Riddler?  Please, he's a punchline.  Two-Face?  Penguin?  Joel Shumacher?  Nope, nope, and really close, but ultimately, nope.

No, the biggest villain in Batman's gallery of rogues is none other than...Harvey Weinstein.  Yes, Harvey the ballbuster, the guy infamous in Hollywood for multi-multi-million dollar eleventh hour Academy Award blitzkrieg marketing campaigns for his movies.  Y'know, like the one he perpetrated in 1998 that got Shakespeare in Love to flat-out steal Best Picture honors from the far superior Saving Private Ryan?  Apparently this year Harvey put the full-court press on The Reader prior to nomination time, and eked out a spot at the show for it, leaving The Dark Knight to twist in the wind.  

So the question is:  does The Reader deserve consideration for Best Picture?  Is it a better movie than The Dark Knight?  And the answer is:  absolutely not.

For the first hour or so of this adaptation of Bernard Schlink's novel, Der Vorleser, I was lost in wondering where in the world the plot was meandering to.  Boy meets older woman, boy beds older woman (repeatedly and graphically), boy falls in love with older woman (and she, apparently, with him), older woman ends up leaving boy.  So far nothing remarkable or groundbreaking, and all I could think was that this was a Mary Kay Letourneau primer.  Don't get me wrong, Kate Winslet doing full nudity is an impressive sight to behold, but after a half dozen shots of the bump-and-grind, I kind of get the picture.

The movie develops some meat later on, after Kate's character, Hanna Schmitz, has moved away, abandoning her hyper-hormonal sixteen-year-old paramour, Michael.  Michael goes on to law school, learning the ways of the litigious, and is taken on a field trip to visit a trial.  Turns out the trial is of a group of women accused of being SS guards at a Nazi camp, one that was a feeder for the furnaces of Auschwitz.  At one point during the death march, 300 Jewish women were trapped inside a burning church, locked within by Hanna and company.  Seeing his Hanna, after so many years apart, now standing in defense of her life, is a terrible burden for Michael to bear, and much of the rest of Act 2 is how he starts to unravel a little bit, his emotions conflicted between what he knew and what he now has learned.  It affects him to the point that information he has that could save Hanna from a guilty conviction, is repressed, kept to himself in light of the horrible acts for which she is accused.

Act 3 is Hanna's transformation of sorts in prison, when a much older Michael (played by Ralph Fiennes) breaks through his wall of shame and embarks on a journey that is truly heartwarming and wonderful.  You see, young Michael didn't just make daily booty calls to his illicit lover, he also read to her dozens of books.  Classics, comics, trash, even Lady Chatterley's Lover, he read them to her by the piles.  And there's a reason for it, not just that she liked the dulcet tones of his voice.  And no, she wasn't blind.  Older Michael, armed with a tape recorder and a microphone, returns to those magic moments, and sends Hanna care packages of his books on tape, which she uses to teach herself how to read and write.  It's a beautiful and ultimately tragic (as these stories need to be) story.  

The problem is, much of the movie plays as if someone took the script and pulled out every fifth page.  Some scenes seem to cut to the next without cohesion.  There's a subplot involving Michael's family and his estrangement that isn't fully explained or at least hinted at enough for the viewer to fill in the blanks.  The reason for older Michael to be withdrawn from his own daughter, or why his marriage fails, isn't sussed out enough, either.  And for all talk of Kate Winslet's fantastic make-up to age her during her prison sentence, even that is overblown:  she's supposed to be 68 when she's released, and yet she looks 88.  And the camera cuts in the final scene between Lena Olin and Ralph Fiennes are terrible on a Vincent Gallo level.

The bottom line is that for a two hour movie (two-oh-four, to be exact), it's great for roughly 50 minutes.  And that's not straight, either.  It comes in fits and starts.  More time should have been spent on Hanna's trial and the moral quagmire that it conjured up, with less time on the late-night Cinemax quality of relationship establishment.  The ending was too much, and should have been truncated at least ten minutes.  The acting is wonderful, from all parts, and Kate Winslet shines, which probably comes as a shock to no one.

Now, The Dark Knight isn't without its problems, and it's far from a perfect movie (like Gladiator is), but it is far and away a better movie than The Reader.  It really is a shame that the former got shut out of the big event simply because it was out-politcked.  In the end, I think it'll be a moot point, as Slumdog Millionaire is this year's best of breed, but still, it would have been nice to see Batman get some props.

Friday, February 13, 2009

A Song For V-Day: The Story

My friend and co-conspirator, Scott Malchus, waxes poetic about Brandy Carlile's song, The Story, just in time for Valentine's Day (which is tomorrow, Saturday the 14th, for those of you calenderically-challenged...myself included).  Scott knows his music.  Check it out here.

Me, my song of choice for the day would be Mark Cohn's True Companion, to which I danced with my bride at our wedding.  

And all because I heard it years ago on an episode of Party of Five.


Thursday, February 12, 2009

Hex Movie Gets Heavyweights

Hex is one of those comics that's just durned good readin' with each and every issue.  I'm biased, though, since my formative years were influenced not just by the super-heroics of the spandex crowd, but also by DC Comics' pre-Vertigo era of off-beat yarn spinning in Weird Western Tales.  The current creative team of Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray has one of the most consistently solid titles that take up space on a comic rack.  No filler issues.  No shark jumping.  Simply good writing and great art.  The masses go ga-ga over a book like Scalped, yet I'd take Hex any day of the week and twice again on Sunday.

So Warner Brothers and Legendary Pictures are making a flick about the scarred and surly gunslinger, due out in 2010.  Josh Brolin is set to play the titular character, Jonah Hex, while John Malkovich will play his nemesis, Quentin Turnbull.  Now, if you've seen No Country For Old Men then you've got an inkling as to how good Josh Brolin will be, and John Malkovich as, well, ANYTHING, is just brilliant casting.  I know, I know, westerns have been hit or miss lately (3:10 To Yuma, bullseye; Appaloosa, not even on the paper), but the solid casting and kookiness of the characters, as well as the lineage to DC Comics should make this a winning formula for reaping some box office success.  

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

New Best Shots Piece

Totally forgot.  I've got a Best Shots review up over at Newsarama on Hotwire from Radical Comics.  Now, if you've not seen anything these guys have put out, you're missing some quality work.  Gorgeous artwork and innovative storytelling, two great tastes that are often hard to come by these days.  So good is their stuff that one of their titles, Caliber, which is a re-imagining of the King Arthur myth but set in the Wild West, has already been optioned as a movie with John Woo set to direct.  

Hotwire is a gorgeous book by a very nice and personable artist, Steve Pugh.  It's an interesting read, to boot.  I highly encourage you to pick it up.

BREAKING NEWS: FAVRE RETIRES!!

Stop the presses!  Brett Favre is leaving football.   Again.  

Yawn.  

Sorry, A-Rod.  It's not a big enough scoop to topple you from the hot seat.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Excuses, excuses

I know, I know.  I start this blog, write for a few days, then go on hiatus.  You'd think I was a writer for Lost or something.  Well I've got a list of excuses as long as my arm and another of diversions as long as the other.  I shan't bore you with the details.  Don't worry, I'll get back on the wagon.

Or not.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Another Night of TWIN TiVo Tasks: Lost and Lie To Me

So the Lost premiere is tonight.  You might have heard it mentioned on a jillion other sites.  Seems to be the second most newsworthy item of the day behind the micro-analysis of yesterday's festival of inauguration.  Personally, I think THIS news item warrants more airtime, but what do I know.  And no, I've never been to Australia, in case you were wondering.

I'll let everyone else harp on Lost and instead take a hard right at Albuequerque (Bugs Bunny aficionados out there should have just snickered) and tell you to set your TiVos for Lie To Me, the new Mr. Orange (aka Tim Roth) vehicle on Fox at 9:03 (yes, three minutes past.  That ain't a typo.).  Freddy--er, Mr. Roth--plays Dr. Cal Lightman, a human lie detector who uses body language and facial expressions to tell when someone's giving the truth or is a big ol' Fibber McGee.  He's a hit at parties and the bane of poker tables, but he also uses his talents for the greater good, helping law enforcement bust the bad guys once a week in this time slot. 

Lightman the character is based on the extensive body of research by psychologist Dr. Paul Ekman, who is an expert on facial, body, and speech patterns, and has advised law enforcement entities in how to recognize when someone's got something to hide (although I'm willing to bet Vin Diesel would give him a run for his money.  Vin shows no emotion and has but one facial expression.  Rage, pain, broken heart, ecstasy...it's all the same.).  I've read some of Dr. Ekman's work and it's fascinating stuff, indeed.  Dr. Ekman is a consultant to the show and will even be writing a weekly column for the show's website, explaining what in each episode was based on real science and what the writers took some liberty with (to wit:  tonight's rubbing-the-nose plot thread apparently doesn't necessarily mean someone's lying).

If it sounds like The Mentalist (which, I think, is a higher brow rip-off of the always funny Psych on USA Network), well, since the sincerest form of reproducing high Nielsen ratings is a Xerox copy but with a British accent, it may well be.  I guess we'll find out.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Tonight's TWO TiVo Tasking: BSG and FNL

I don't have a lot of time to expound on the whys and wherefores, just do as I say and I won't kick you out of the family.  Deal?  

First, Friday Night Lights, 9 pm on NBC.  It's not Shakespeare, but it's addicting in a way that only my therapist might be able to explain (five'll get you ten the explay involves Minka Kelly and Connie Britton).  All those reasons I bag on Smallville?  Yeah, they all apply here, too (minus the curiously long canine teeth), yet I can't seem to say no mas, no mas.  Season 3 starts tonight.

Second, Battlestar Galactica.  Really.  Hiatus over, the first of the last ten eps airs tonight on Sci-Fi at 10 pm.  When last we saw our beleaguered heroes, huzzah!, they had found Earth.  Problem is, it didn't look anything like they had been promised in the tour guide; as if the whole world had played Jarts with their nuclear arsenals and no one was left standing to brag about it.  I was half-expecting Adama to bust out his best Heston:  "You maniacs!  You blew it up!  Damn you!  Damn you all to hell!"

TiVo 'em.  Watch 'em.  Come back here and discuss 'em.


Thursday, January 15, 2009

Tonight's TiVo Task: Smallville

Okay, I'll be square with you:  I'm not a Smallville fan.  More of a peruser, actually.  Can't watch it in real time, only on TiVo, so's I can jump not just commercials, but Tom Welling's perma-brood, like he's trapped in a perpetual phantom zone of an Abercrombie & Fitch photo shoot; Kristen Kreuk with her single facial gesture no matter the emotion, and her engaging-as-cardboard line delivery, not to mention her curiously long canine teeth (I'm convinced she's part vampire); and the way-too-rich/tries-too-hard-to-be-cool-cold-and-calculating Lex Luthor, especially Michael Rosenbaum's heavy-handed monologues de sinister (in all fairness, though, I think it's the script more than the actor).  The whole shtick is often too saccharine or too cheesy for my taste, and the dialogue is so cringe-inducing that I often just watch it with the volume off.  Each episode's structure seems to be very chip-off-the-90210-block, which was annoying in its formula even back then.  Truth to tell, I think The Hills is more compelling television, with a villain in Spencer Pratt that even Smallville's Brainiac cringes from.

Still, tonight is the "Legion" episode I've been eagerly anticipating for a while.  Brainiac, my favorite baddie in the comics (and the least annoying character on the show) possesses Chloe's body, and three strangers from the future join forces with Clark to perform an exorcism, super-hero-style.  Who's kung-fu will be stronger?  Well, that's probably pretty obvious if you've got two functioning brain cells, but for geeks and fans and us old-schoolers from the halcyon days of Adventure Comics, tonight should be a real treat.

I may even break tradition and watch it in real time.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Length DOES Matter

It's a blow to masculinity.  Seems that everyone from the Financial Times to the Fort Mill Times is reporting on the results of a study from the University of Cambridge in England.  Researchers compared the length of a man's ring finger to the length of the index finger on his right hand and correlated the results with success in high-frequency trading on the London stock market (a longer ring finger occurs as the result of fetal exposure to higher levels of the male hormone, androgen).

The researchers found that traders with ring fingers longer than pointers made eleven times more money than their stubbier counterparts over a twenty-month study period (the more experienced traders made about nine times more than the less-so, and in the experienced group, the long johns made five times more than the nubbins).  It's not a total loss, though, since the reverse ratio has been found to demonstrate skill in math, science, and engineering.

This certainly has to cause more than a few Gordon Gekko wannabes alarm and perhaps several to return to a therapist's couch.  I mean, if making and waving about obscene wads of cash compensates a man for a lack of endowment, then this study basically implies that a session of cheirognomy is probably in the cards to discover if someone truly IS behind nature's eight ball, BEFORE they waste all that time and money at B school fostering delusions of hedge fund grandiosity.  


New Army Recruiting Tactic?

I read this article and the first thing I thought was:  somewhere in here is a new reality TV show.  With  The Biggest Loser  a ratings darling for NBC, adding guns, PT, and O-courses to the formula, and the winner getting their own set of cammies and a year-long pass to the head of the chow line would surely be a hit.  Certainly couldn't be worse than the train wreck that is Superstars of Dance.

And the Army could market a new slogan out of it:  
The United States Army...Better Than Weight Watchers.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Best Shots reviews for comics out last week

Over on Newsarama, the weekly Best Shots review feature is up, within which I yap about Radical Comics's new book, Shrapnel.  For a rookie company, Radical has been quite impressive and  Shrapnel continues that tradition...but it is flawed.

They also have a YouTube video promo here.

Once upon a time..

I know what you're thinking:  "Oh, great.  ANOTHER blog.  Yeah, we need one of those like we need a new strain of avian flu."  I normally would agree with you, but since it seems like everyone's doing it these days, and because I really want to be one of the cool kids...here we are.  "So," you might then ask.  "If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you follow?"  Well, now, that depends.  Is Jessica Alba in that group?  If she is, then yes, yes I would.   

Who am I?  I can name my tune in three words:  writer, reader, pontificator (more or less in that order).  And that's pretty much all you need to know for right now.  While I can't guarantee that this blog is going to be maintained on a daily basis, I hope it will at least be entertaining.  There should be a wide enough gamut of topics discussed for anyone and everyone to jump in and give their plugged nickel.   

Think of it as a little daily ray of sunshine...or a sharp blow to the head, whatever it takes to keep morale high.  Keep your arms and legs inside the car at all times, and whatever you do, don't feed the animals (or any of my friends).

Hope you enjoy the ride.